My new play for Drama

[Mustachio]

I need to write a new play for Drama, so I ask for your opinions on what I have so far:

---Kieron Dodge's Play for Drama---
Theme: Modern Warfare
Time range: 2011-2019
Notes:
Everything MUST be choreographed as said in script
Anything coated in brackets is a stage direction
Anything coated in asteriks(*) is optional
Anything coated in dashes(-) is a dependancy

Protagonists:
Birch(Male, main)
Grabinski(Male, main)
Chowdhury(Male, main)

Antagonists:
Dodge(Male, main)

Extras:
Plane driver(Unisex, can be played by offstage characters)
Random soldier(Unisex, can be played by offstage characters)
Teacher(Unisex, can be played by offstage characters)

Sound Effects:
Missile
Explosion
Bang
Woosh
Smash


---SCENE 1---
Time range: 2011-2012
Needed characters:
Birch, Grabinski, Dodge, Teacher
Place: Hatton School, German Class

(Needed characters walk in)
(Birch, Grabinski and Dodge sit down near the back of the stage in a horizontal line, facing the teacher who is near the front of the stage, facing the others)
Teacher: Welcome class!
Birch, Grabinski, Dodge(Dull voices): Good morning Miss/Mr. -Teacher's Actor's First name-
Teacher(Sarcasticly): Wow, I can feel the enthusiasm...
Teacher(Normally): Let's get started, shall we class?
Teacher: (Points to an imaginary board and wipes index finger accross board) Your starter is on the board, get on with it.
(Birch, Grabinski and Dodge write stuff down in a *imaginary* book for 1 minute)
(After 1 minute)
Birch: What's that rumbling?
(If he forgets, Grabinski or Dodge nudge him twice)
(Grabinski and Dodge look confused)
(10 Woosh and Explosion sounds are heard)
(As the sound effects start, all 3 roll to the right, a barrell roll is fine or jump)
Grabinski: The teacher's dead! Everyone else okay!?
Birch: My ankle's twisted, but I'm fine!
Grabinski: Kieron! Help me carry him!
(Dodge approaches Birch)
(Grabinski and Dodge throw their arms over Birch's shoulders and walk him to the edge of the stage)
Birch: All right, I can move. Just go and check on the others!
(Birch walks with his hand wrapping his ankle)
(Dead teacher quietly leaves stage to come on later)
Grabinski: Birch! Dodge! We need to move!
(All 3 run over to the centre of the stage)
Grabinski: Down here, to A26!
(They run half-way to the edge of the stage, but stop after the Crash sounds is heard)
Grabinski: The buildings falling, to the stairs!
(They all run back to centre stage and turn right)
Birch: The stairs are collapsing!
Grabinski: Jump onto the handrails!)
(They all jump accross the stage and lift hands up like they are hanging onto monkey bars)
Birch: Accross!
(Woosh sound)
(Person at edge of the row looses grip on one hand, turning 45 degress shocked)
Grabinski: WOW! -Person at the end of the row-, are you alright?
-Person at the end of the row-: I'm fine!
(-Person at the end of the row- regains grip)
(They all move forward)
(More Woosh)
(They all jump down, squatting as if they had fell from 10 ft)
Birch: We're at the middle of the block. Look out for more explosions.
(Several Wooshes are heard aswell as a few Explosions)
(As explosions are heard, the 3 can fall to the floor and get back up afterwards or smash themselves against a wall)
Grabinski: There's the staircase!
(Missile and explosion sound)
(The 3 are thrown against a wall)
Birch: Ugh! I think the building is collapsing!
(All 3 are turned over into another wall)
Birch: I was right! The thing falling down!
(All 3 are turned into another wall again, this repeats 5 times then a bang sound effect)
Birch(Weakly): Gah... Ahhh.... My leg...
Grabinski(Weakly): I think my arms are done, look at this mess on my clothes. But... No matter how much it hurts, let's get out of this ruin...
(The 3 all crawl weakly, occasionally grabbing the chests and moaning in pain accross the stage)
(Dead teacher re-enters as a girl)
(The girl runs over to the 3)
Girl: We got some live ones!
(She turns them over one by one)
(She pulls them into an ambulance which is the other edge of the stage)
(SCENE ENDS, ALL ACTORS GO OFF STAGE)

[Fat_Sacks]

Good job, you just retold CoD 4 with a few changes to the scenery and names.

[Mustachio]

Good job, you just retold CoD 4 with a few changes to the scenery and names.

Actually I thought of this one.

I'll replay CoD 4 until I find a stealth bomber attacking some place and having people escaping un-armed until a building falls and nearly kills them.

GTFO.

[Mustachio]

Scene 2:

Birch: That's how we got involved in the war! Remember!
Dodge: I believe there was another part that got the others involved... January 19th, 2012...
(Woosh sound)
(Frampton and Law tightly grip Dodge's fists as if they handcuffed him)
Pedrick: I know what you have done, Kieron... I know everything...
(Pedrick walks closer to Dodge, arms behind back)
Pedrick: You're a traitor...
(Pedrick makes 1 hand into a gun and points it at Dodge)
Law: Do it to the head!
Pedrick: Now, now, Sophia that would be too quick and painless.
(Pedrick aims the gun at Dodge's stomach)
Dodge: Please, Abbie! No!
(Pedrick pretends to shoot, while smiling evily)
Pedrick: Drop him.
(Frampton and Law let go)
(Dodge falls weakly to the floor gripping his stomach)
Pedrick: It has been done... Charlotte, Sophia, let's go.
(The 3 leave stage)
(Gentle screams are heard after they leave)
Dodge: Abbie... Die... Now...
(Dodge crawls over to the other edge of the stage while moaning)
(Dodge stands up after 5 seconds still holding his stomach)
Dodge: Abbie........ Why........
(Dodge picks up a pretend gun from the floor after falling down)
(Dodge stands back up)
(Dodge holds stomach while pointing gun)
(The others go back on-stage pretending the kill imaginary people)
Dodge: Ab.......Bie.....
(Dodge follows the 3 occasioanlly bashing into walls)
Dodge: *coughs* Abb.......
(Dodge grabs Pedrick's shoulder and pulls Pedrick to face him)
Pedrick: Ahh!
(Pedrick tries to punch Dodge, but Dodge catches Pedrick's fist but let's go quickly)
Dodge: Ugggh.......
Dodge: Must....
(Dodge collapses)
Pedrick: He'll be dead soon... Don't you worry.