Copypasta Thread (NSFW)

[ijfeswijfae]

Here's some golden copypastas on what the future holds for CIS scum.

Copypasta 26:
>live in Tolerance Zone #65
>be nu-trans fourth trimester transsensual Angst Profile ZETA-8 genderqueer pseudo-dyke reformed lesbiophilic heteromollusc
>see cis white male at the zoo
>ask "mommies, what's that?"
>they don't know
>Genderless Polyamorous Parental Unit #2 takes me into a Safe Zone and engages the Feelings Shield
>tells me that it is a monster from the beforetime
>tells me not to be scared, because the monsters' penisocracy was smashed by the forces of the LBJQGTA5 Coalition in the Patriarchy Wars
>start to cry
>s/he opens his and/or her rainbow mesh vest and retrieves an estrogen pill to cheer me up
>feeling the calming femininity wash over me
>s/he tells me that the monsters aren't allowed to hurt anyone anymore, only to work, to support our glorious society
>throw Privilege Peanuts at him
>everyone laughs
>take some soma
>go home and read some consensus-approved feelings-safe literature

Copypasta 27:
>2013
>at a bar
>wearing my government mandated anti-rape chastity cage and anti-rape shock collar
>already bought 5 women drinks as has been decided is the minimum by the Committee for Social Justice
>accidentally bump into a woman while not paying attention
>my shock collar goes off, sending me flailing to the ground in agony
>she screams RAPE and starts macing me
>the bouncers of the bar start kicking the shit out of me
>they throw me into the street where the government funded Anti-Privilege Brigade is waiting for me
>forcibly restrain me and implant a slow-release estrogen chip in my body
>my privilege falls out of my pockets

Copypasta 28:
>2013
>goes to rent a movie
>put on my "i know and I'm sorry" T-shirt
>put on my high-heels running shoes
>put on my make up, it's Sunday so to save time I'm only putting on absolute minimum required by local laws and not federal laws
>(taking a chance like that is kinda of a rush, feel like a bad boy,
>so I drink extra estrogen soda as to not set of testosterone level alarm in buttplug)
>go to Blockbuster
>takes a while, but eventually i build up courage to go to dirty CIS section in the back
>see another white male there
>panic!
>tries to avid eye contact but to late
>our eyes meet and by pure dumb animal instinct we send each other look of approval
>security camera spots us and alarm goes of
>last i remember was the burn of tear gass in eyes
>wake up at guantanamo bay
>accused of old male-network terroism
>my testeicls hang above the door in my cage
>so i will never forget to check my cis privilege again

Copypasta 29:
>2017
>Be in 3rd grade
>Swinging on the swing
>Beautiful, independent trans gyrl comes up to me
>"Get off the swing anon"
>Say no, I'm not done yet
>SUDDENLY RAPE ALARM GOES OFF
>My cisprivilege spills everywhere, gyrl screams
>Anti-misogyny collar administers a 200W corrective electric shock
>Disgusting, filthy male sex organs hurt from getting fused to the swing by the shock
>Oh god what have I done
>Teacher runs over, asks what happened
>Ashamed, I explain how I sexually assaulted her and used my male privilege to take her swing
>Forced to repeat 4th grade for failing to respect womyn
Should have checked my privilege...
______

Copypasta 30:
Your eyes are too far apart. Nose is definitely crooked. The shape of your face is not aesthetically pleasing at all. You look like a 3/10 in this photo. I actually just threw up in my mouth. Your head is too big (although that may be, because of your giraffe neck posture). As for your hair, lol. Seriously, do something. You look like a horse. Stare at your face for more than 5 seconds, and you will see how ugly you are. The eyes which are too far apart is what ruins /damages an already ugly face even further. Unfortunately for you, that can't be surgically fixed, lol. You arms are way too long. lol at how they hang by your sides. Kind of reminds me of lurch. Don't even let me start on your pale complexion. It only works if you look hot. Unfortunately, you do not look hot. Its hard to sum up a creature like you in one word. 'UGLY ' would be unfair , since it doesn't reflect how repulsive you look. GROTESQUE is stretching it. But somewhere in between, is where you would be, on the scale of an average man. I'm sorry if my words seem a little harsh. Just so you know, I sugar coated this post as much as possible. Have a nice day.

Copypasta 31:
Are you aware that there are people in this world that have a severe medical condition which causes them to be that way? My mother for instance is one of those people. She is a truck driver that has bad knees and a bad back from driving the truck but you probably do not care about that case either. Oh well I am not one of those people. I am 6'4" 245lbs and I exercise every day. I would love to see you say something like that to my mother in front of me. Probably never happen though you are probably just an internet tough guy. I doubt very seriously you would say that to someones face. Just my thought. What do you think? Oh I am sorry you probably do not have a brain. I on the other hand will be happy to buy you a plane ticket to come here and see if you have the nerve to say that to someone I know.

Copypasta 32:
Lol at u, this is the problem with the 21st century. Everybody demands instant gratification. We want everything and we want it now. Instant everything. Instant gains, instant messages, email, fax, internet. Instant food, the faster the better. Instant education, job, wealth. Instant medical service, diagnosis, and an instant cure. Instant family. Instant travel. Instant information. Instant banking. Right or wrong, good or bad, we want it now. Do you think caveman had access to steroids? No they didnt, they had to hunt for their food. Nobody lights a fire these days. People don't even light ovens anymore. It takes just too long to heat up a meal. It takes just too much patience. I'm hungry now, not 40 minutes from now. That's why God gave us microwave ovens. Just pop the food in and whrrr –BEEP- out it comes, nicely warmed for immediate consumption. That's not how I view happiness. Patience is a virtue of the great and few possess it. All good things comes to those who wait when it comes down to exercising patience.

Copypasta 33:
What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Copypasta 34:
well, well, well, what have we here another faggot neckbeard (most likely yuro) shitting up the place with his /b/ faggotry. you picked the wrong night to fuck around, asshole. i've just texted the a mod (we're friends irl) about this thread, so he'll be here shortly to deal with the matter, and most likely hand out some sorely needed bans. i'm also going to report and sage the thread (for safe measure), as well as alert the other moderators in the 4chan irc channel. and just in case you wanna try and pull a fast one, i'm screen shotting the entire thread for additional proof and e-mailing moot about the matter personally. i'm tired of you stupid fucking dick sniffers pressing out whatever lolrandom faggot shit you want on the fucking anime board. it's time for you assholes to get a reality check, because this shit won't fly for much longer. prepare your anus, you 500 pound pile of shit. your days are fucking numbered

Copypasta 35:

fuck you, ive raped people for far less than this. you think you can fucking come on /v/ and just act like a fucking hardass and order people around? Bad news for you, fuckface, but tonights the night your luck runs out. You fucking tell ANYBODY on these forums what to do again, and you're going to find out the hard way what a fucking baseball bat to the side of the skull feels like. Think I'm fucking kidding? I have your IP, I know who you are, and Im more than willing to settle this argument face to fucking face. You call yourself "Hardcore"? We'll see who's the hardcore one when one of us is lying face down in a pile of their own blood, shit, and piss. Try and order someone else on here around, and see what fucking happens to you. I'm normally a calm guy but when I need to, I'm willing to break some fucking face to get my point across, just fucking test me you worthless sack of excrement.

Copypasta 36:
Why are you such an idiot? You jaundiced jumped up, vercordiously pusillanimous piffle. Your vileseome existence nauseates me beyond compare. It is politically correct when discussing your faults to use certain words to denote your humanness above your disability. But in your case, there is nothing human. You are just challenged, you are just different. Given a choice of stepping in something nasty on the sidewalk, or bidding you good morning, I would happily choose the former. Single-handedly, you have wrenched all meaning out of life. Congratulations. As I write this I try vainly to think of something, anything, which redeems in some small way your utterly pointless existence. The only thing that comes to mind is that you have taught me hate. Pure, unmitigated hate. I have had fantasies about attacking you with a machete, but I dare not. I once cut up a starfish, which was so neurologically simple that each piece grew into a clone of the original. Your coleopteron brain no doubt shares certain appalling similarities with such creatures. You, misguided as you are, might be asking yourself what you have done to deserve such a letter as this. Your misdeeds and villainous vampings can be described in just two words: you exist. And believe me, there is no reason on earth why you should. How do you justify to yourself waking up each morning and ruining yet another day? If everything in this world has some purpose, some grand plan behind its existence, then yours surely is to show everything else, whether it be a slops bucket in a fried chicken stand, or the gunk behind the fridge, how fortunate it is not to be you. I have tried, but clearly, I have failed. I must stand firm to the realisation that mere words cannot express my utmost and profound contempt and loathing for your person, your being and your existence. You are a blight against nature.

Copypasta 37:
There are douche bags who train mma, and these douchebags will always be pussies.
There will always be a guy who is super explosive who instincutaly throws straight punches who will fuk you up
Op, I'll be honest. I am drunk. I am drunk and I know you are so insecure right now. You need to be slammed on your head and choked. This would humble you. Sure, you would throw your haymakers, and breath through your teeth, you would black out, you would not give a fuk, you would be crazy.... lalalalala yada yada yada.
These things have nothing to do with winning. Winning comes from experience, from being aware, from avoiding situations that could involve conflict, and from being sober.
Snap out of it you coward. Fuk you for thinking you have anything worth saying you untrained weakling. Fuk your face. Go learn, go and become a man, and then you may be called a man. Until then, shut your coward mouth you untrained pathetic little girl.

Copypasta 38:
The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of your of what you wrote, because, well ... it didn't really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things to be difficult. If I had known that this was true in your case then I would have never exposed myself to what you wrote. It just wouldn't have been "right." Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.

Copypasta 39:
Unless you are a published theoretical physicist and have earned a Master of Science and two PhDs, have an IQ of 187, and went to college at 11, research String Theory at Caltech, switched disciplines from bosonic string theory to heterotic string theory and reconciled the black hole information paradox using a string network condensate approach, worked on the string theory implications of gamma rays from dark matter annihilations and considered a method for optimizing a 500 GeV particle detector to this end, jointly wrote a paper on supersolids to be presented at an Institute of Experimental Physics topical conference on Bose-Einstein condensates, keep a whiteboard in the living room for scientific theories containing virtual particles in quantum mechanics or series of Riemann zeta functions, then no I will not ask you any questions

Copypasta 40:
Dearest Thread Originator,
When my eyes first glanced upon your rather
eloquently worded treatise regarding this
particular subject, it did not require much time,
nay, dare I say it was in fact almost
instantaneous that I was able to summarize that
your post- though masterfully written with such
quality that it may indeed rival the
quintessential prose of authors such as
Dostoevsky, Baldwin or perhaps even Joyce-
was quite prolix; based upon the
aforementioned conclusion, I resolved that I
would exercise no more of my mental faculties
in the act of comprehending the text that you
had written.
Sincerely, and wholly unequivocally yours,
Wierzbowski
Post Scriptum,
In the future it would be most advantageous,
not only for me but also the other members of
this forum that you provide a brief summary of
your text that emphasizes the more principle
points of what you have composed.
Post Post Scriptum,
I would also like to make one additional
comment if I may. It is in my humble and most
earnest opinion that you are of the caliber of
person whose taste appeals to prurient interests
due to unassailable fact that you are a
homosexual.

Copypasta 41:
Did you know that what you are talking about is limited by your false sense of reality? Maybe if you studied just a little bit harder while in school you wouldnt be blinded by these fallacies that have cast a cloud over your judgment. I once knew a guy like you who had everything he could ever want but in the end it meant nothing, because he never knew his true place in the grand scheme of things. Im not trying to tell you how to live your life but, honestly buddy I think its time you stepped down off of your high horse and looked life square in the eyes.

Copypasta 42:
I am having a stroke at this very moment

I am dead fucking serious

I would go get a phone, but i'm having a stroke and can't move my legs

This will be the last thing I will ever type in my life

goodbye internet.

Copypasta 43: Response to Navy Seals copypasta
I'm a former 0321. That's reconnaissance in the United States Marine Corps.
Please, if you're going to impersonate a JSOC operator, at least do some research. I know you're trolling but you gave yourself away when you claim to be a Navy Seal, but also have access to the arsenal of the Marine Corps?

No.

Also, you over exaggerated. Next time, be a little more down to earth and your trolling will be all the more believable.