Why can't I be who I want to be? Do what I want to do?

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Because you wrote this. Don't worry about flaws, thing about what you are good at and expands on it. Don't let others effect you [except inspiration].

Speaking problems have nothing to do with how you can sing, I know this because I sing NOTHING like how I actually talk. In fact when I speak publicly (speeches) I have problem cutting myself off so things run on too long.
To top it off my voice might be even deeper than yours, but I don't care.

I just keep going...which is ironic considering I can do everything except the one thing I truly want.

Well, that's the problem. I tried singing, but my voice is just...blech. My singing voice goes wayyy too fast.