I Sent This Message
#1
I prepare to die tomorrow.

"You should stay who you are and not change, even if it is for another, to avoid me, to please a group of people, adventure, or personal gain.
Who you are is perfection personified, all flaws are just shallow excuses. When someone tries to change, it only leads to a facade. Memories and personalities can never truly be replaced by will. I attempted this, and all it did was bring hate to myself and others, it caused me to do things I did not want to do and I broke. The past is the only constant in life, the present and future are ever changing. Only the past can make the future look bad, but removing the past is not the answer. Only the present can change the future...
This may just be my stubborn nature towards the subject of changing oneself trying or something even though told it is incorrect multiple times, but I cannot avoid the simple fact of a friend becoming something else. None of this should really be my business, but the person you truly are is who I fell in love with.

Compared to you though, I am nothing. I am always different, being something else and always attempting to do illogical adventures. Where as you have so many more skills and stable paths in life with possible feats. It causes a sense of admiration while at the same time widens the gap between us. I see that we are complete opposites, a friendship would always bring contrasting ideas and customs. However, these differences can become two halves of one. It's like how water and fire are both opposites with separate uses. However, when both used or combined can create something even greater...

Maybe you aren't who I should be with and maybe a friendship is truly impossible, but I can never find myself able to give up. I've written notes to myself, I've written letters, short stories, different outcomes, even lyrics to a song...but every time I give up, I find myself trying again. I don't know why I feel the way I do and I don't know what changed everything, I don't know where to start and where to fix things. Three years ago I met you and only one out of the three could we be considered friends. I am probably seen as a nuisance now so I will leave it at this. Even though things seem like crap to me, I am always able to forgive you and still think of you in a positive light, even when you have broken my heart. Therefore, I must truly be a fool.

I'm not trying to tell you how to live life, or that I am upset or that I am right, I just want to tell you what I am thinking. These are my last words to you about this current matter for the rest of this school year so, I will not come in contact with you from now until this September.
Have a nice summer."
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I Sent This Message - by Ming-Yan - 06-13-2011, 05:50 AM

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