Thinking about getting a new laptop

[Ghosty]

You've all heard me complain about "the Craptop". Dell Inspiron laptop, 77-GB hard drive, 1 GB of RAM, Intel Mobile Chipset graphics card (if there's graphics requirements on something, and it was made in the past decade, the card fails), the monitor hinges are busted, the headphone port is trashed, and the keyboard is falling apart.

I've looked around at Wal-Mart for a new one but nothing's struck me as "the Answer" yet. So, what are your opinions?

Dealbreakers:

• Costs more than $500. I don't have a ton of money to throw at it.
  
• Non-mobile. I don't have room to put a tower anywhere.
  
• Intel graphics card. I'm fed up of being unable to play anything without heavy modifications and restrictions.
  
• Less than 2 GB RAM. Minecraft on Short Render at 15 FPS -- with OptiFine on lowest settings -- is somewhat playable, but I want more than 'somewhat playable'.
  
• Less than 100 GB hard drive. I'm fed up with "C:/ is running low on space!"
  
• Non-Windows OS. This means no Chromebook, no iPad. And I don't think Linux comes natively on anything. I'd prefer Windows 7 over Windows 8, but I may not have a choice anymore.
  
• Must be bought online. If I can't get it at Wal-Mart or Best Buy or Target, I probably can't get it, period.