02-12-2012, 01:59 AM
It's been awhile since I've last updated you on what I've been up to!
Well to be honest I've been busy with some lawsuits. Apparently if a breakfast cereal causes cancer it shouldn't be FDA approved but oh well. The truth is the cereal doesn't cause cancer, the box causes cancer. We make our boxes out of what is left of the nuclear waste that powers our factories. You might be thinking "Why would anyone use nuclear waste in cardboard?". Well, we believe in recycling! Why waste perfectly good nuclear waste?
Since we lost that first lawsuit BlandFlakes has been put out of business and all products have been recalled. (Good bye Chocolate Blandflakes)
But don't worry! I enjoy making quality products that are only slightly radioactive I will continue production on foreign soil!
I can't wait to release my newest product! It will blow your minds.
Oh and I hope you have been holding your breath.. this post is covered in asbestos.
Well to be honest I've been busy with some lawsuits. Apparently if a breakfast cereal causes cancer it shouldn't be FDA approved but oh well. The truth is the cereal doesn't cause cancer, the box causes cancer. We make our boxes out of what is left of the nuclear waste that powers our factories. You might be thinking "Why would anyone use nuclear waste in cardboard?". Well, we believe in recycling! Why waste perfectly good nuclear waste?
Since we lost that first lawsuit BlandFlakes has been put out of business and all products have been recalled. (Good bye Chocolate Blandflakes)
But don't worry! I enjoy making quality products that are only slightly radioactive I will continue production on foreign soil!
I can't wait to release my newest product! It will blow your minds.
Oh and I hope you have been holding your breath.. this post is covered in asbestos.