02-19-2012, 08:27 AM
Red Dawkings
Boy: Ooooh I'm so bored my life sucks
TV: DO YOU WANT TO SEE LIVE WRESTLING RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FUCKING EYES? WELL CHRISTIAN WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT IS COMING TO YOUR TOWN! GET SOME DAMN TICKETS OR WE'LL MURDER YOUR FAMILY! CHRISTIANS GET A 1% DISCOUNT! SO OUTRAAAAAAGEOUS
Boy: Hey! I want to be there!
Boy: HEY MOM, I WANT TO SEE THE CWE FIGHT HERE THIS WEEKEND! MOM MOM
Mom: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU LITTLE BITCH
Boy: NO YOU I WANT TO SEE IT RIGHT NOW MOM
Mom: HERE HONEY TAKE THIS MONEY AND PLEASE THAT FUCKING BOY TIL HE SHUTS UP
(Later, on Sunday)
Boy: Oh man, oh man! This is the first time I'm about to see a live CWE wrestling fight right before my eyes! 4 more hours!!!
(4 hours later)
Boy: Hehehhehe I can feel the tension even from outside of the arena, I can't believe I'm about to go in!!
Father: Shut up boy and let's hurry before they start fighting
(Inside the arena)
Boy: Oh god oh god they are about to start!!!!
Announcer: HERE COMES JOHN SINNA,
(John Sinna walks down to the ring)
Announcer: AND THEN THERE'S...... THE UNDERCHRIST
(The Underchrist walks down the arena)
Announcer: NOW FIGHT QUEERS
Announcer: Hey, why aren't you fighting? Oh yeah, my speech. I HATE YOU ALL, I HOPE YOU ALL DIE, BLA BLA BLA, FIGHT!
(JS and TUC wrestle)
Boy: Oh boy this is so fun too watch! Oooh I need to go to the restroom so bad. I'll just go really quickly..
(Later, in the restroom)
Boy: (Urinates) wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah haha
Voice 1: Hey, do you have the converter ready yet?
Voice 2: No, but it should be in just about 15 minutes. Soon, everyone will be wearing silly hats, worshiping one religion, and definitely be circumcised.
Boy: Circumcised?
Voice 1: Hey, where did that voice come from? Check that stall!
Boy: Oh no! No!!!
Voice 2: Hit him!
(Bang!)
Boy: Augh, where am I?
Voice 1 & 2: Hahahaha
Boy: Who are you?!?!
Voice 1: I am the CEO of CWE.
Voice 2: And I am the maker of the soon to be Jewish domination device.
Boy: But I thought you guys were Christian and Christian friendly!
CEO: Haha, as you can see, our people have suffered many millenniums. The only way to avenge our lost people is to prosper and rise among many other religions. Of course, early anti Semites such as Hitler had no idea how great this world will be under our vision, so-
Boy: Your vision?! This is enslavement! You're no better than Hitler!
Maker: Oh shut up-
Boy: No, I'm tired of people telling me to shut up!
CEO: I almost feel sorry for your poor soul now that we have to kill you for finding out about our secret, so I'll give you a tip of information before we finally put mankind under our hands.
CEO: You see that tomb over there? That's the real resting place of Jesus. A specific prayer can bring him back to life and of course he won't be very happy with us but you'll never guess it right.
Maker: And now we're going to kill you in about 10 seconds.
Boy: Oh no! Oh no! Um... (Prays) Um not this one..
Maker: 8 seconds.
Boy: Uhh (Prays) Agh!!!
Maker: 5 seconds.
Boy: Oh my god! (Prays)
Maker: 2 seconds.
Boy: AH! (Prays)
Maker: D-
???: (Blows up tomb) I'm back motherfuckers
Maker: Impossible!
CEO: It's Jesus!
CEO: Surrender your power to us!
Jesus: No can do, it's only reserved for the lord, and... (Karate kick)
Maker: OH GOD IT HURTS LIKE HELL
Jesus: Now destroy that device
CEO & Maker: Never!
Jesus: (Karate kicks both of them out the office)
Boy: Well, now that that is over, I'm going to introduce you to my parents after I finish watching the live wrestling!
(Later)
Boy: Hey mom! I found someone you would like to meet!
Mom: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU PIECE OF S- Oh it's Jesus! You are welcomed anytime to my home!
Jesus: I greatly appreciate your kindness.
Father: Jesus? Why, I had a conversation with you in church last Sunday! Something about some obscure forum named Buildism, right?
Jesus: I don't remember having any conversations about a forum last Sunday.
Boy: Sorry, Jesus. My dad was heavily drunk that day, he started seeing things and got all spiritual. It's weird.
Jesus: Mhm.. Well I really have to go now.
Boy: Awww
Jesus: Yeah. I have to do some heaven stuff right now. God's been spending time with Satan recently which leaves me in charge of heaven.
Boy: OK, bye!
Jesus: Bye. (Halleluiah, Halleluiah, alleluia, alleluia, alleluia)
Boy: Boy, that was some great adventure.
Boy: Ooooh I'm so bored my life sucks
TV: DO YOU WANT TO SEE LIVE WRESTLING RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FUCKING EYES? WELL CHRISTIAN WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT IS COMING TO YOUR TOWN! GET SOME DAMN TICKETS OR WE'LL MURDER YOUR FAMILY! CHRISTIANS GET A 1% DISCOUNT! SO OUTRAAAAAAGEOUS
Boy: Hey! I want to be there!
Boy: HEY MOM, I WANT TO SEE THE CWE FIGHT HERE THIS WEEKEND! MOM MOM
Mom: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU LITTLE BITCH
Boy: NO YOU I WANT TO SEE IT RIGHT NOW MOM
Mom: HERE HONEY TAKE THIS MONEY AND PLEASE THAT FUCKING BOY TIL HE SHUTS UP
(Later, on Sunday)
Boy: Oh man, oh man! This is the first time I'm about to see a live CWE wrestling fight right before my eyes! 4 more hours!!!
(4 hours later)
Boy: Hehehhehe I can feel the tension even from outside of the arena, I can't believe I'm about to go in!!
Father: Shut up boy and let's hurry before they start fighting
(Inside the arena)
Boy: Oh god oh god they are about to start!!!!
Announcer: HERE COMES JOHN SINNA,
(John Sinna walks down to the ring)
Announcer: AND THEN THERE'S...... THE UNDERCHRIST
(The Underchrist walks down the arena)
Announcer: NOW FIGHT QUEERS
Announcer: Hey, why aren't you fighting? Oh yeah, my speech. I HATE YOU ALL, I HOPE YOU ALL DIE, BLA BLA BLA, FIGHT!
(JS and TUC wrestle)
Boy: Oh boy this is so fun too watch! Oooh I need to go to the restroom so bad. I'll just go really quickly..
(Later, in the restroom)
Boy: (Urinates) wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah haha
Voice 1: Hey, do you have the converter ready yet?
Voice 2: No, but it should be in just about 15 minutes. Soon, everyone will be wearing silly hats, worshiping one religion, and definitely be circumcised.
Boy: Circumcised?
Voice 1: Hey, where did that voice come from? Check that stall!
Boy: Oh no! No!!!
Voice 2: Hit him!
(Bang!)
Boy: Augh, where am I?
Voice 1 & 2: Hahahaha
Boy: Who are you?!?!
Voice 1: I am the CEO of CWE.
Voice 2: And I am the maker of the soon to be Jewish domination device.
Boy: But I thought you guys were Christian and Christian friendly!
CEO: Haha, as you can see, our people have suffered many millenniums. The only way to avenge our lost people is to prosper and rise among many other religions. Of course, early anti Semites such as Hitler had no idea how great this world will be under our vision, so-
Boy: Your vision?! This is enslavement! You're no better than Hitler!
Maker: Oh shut up-
Boy: No, I'm tired of people telling me to shut up!
CEO: I almost feel sorry for your poor soul now that we have to kill you for finding out about our secret, so I'll give you a tip of information before we finally put mankind under our hands.
CEO: You see that tomb over there? That's the real resting place of Jesus. A specific prayer can bring him back to life and of course he won't be very happy with us but you'll never guess it right.
Maker: And now we're going to kill you in about 10 seconds.
Boy: Oh no! Oh no! Um... (Prays) Um not this one..
Maker: 8 seconds.
Boy: Uhh (Prays) Agh!!!
Maker: 5 seconds.
Boy: Oh my god! (Prays)
Maker: 2 seconds.
Boy: AH! (Prays)
Maker: D-
???: (Blows up tomb) I'm back motherfuckers
Maker: Impossible!
CEO: It's Jesus!
CEO: Surrender your power to us!
Jesus: No can do, it's only reserved for the lord, and... (Karate kick)
Maker: OH GOD IT HURTS LIKE HELL
Jesus: Now destroy that device
CEO & Maker: Never!
Jesus: (Karate kicks both of them out the office)
Boy: Well, now that that is over, I'm going to introduce you to my parents after I finish watching the live wrestling!
(Later)
Boy: Hey mom! I found someone you would like to meet!
Mom: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU PIECE OF S- Oh it's Jesus! You are welcomed anytime to my home!
Jesus: I greatly appreciate your kindness.
Father: Jesus? Why, I had a conversation with you in church last Sunday! Something about some obscure forum named Buildism, right?
Jesus: I don't remember having any conversations about a forum last Sunday.
Boy: Sorry, Jesus. My dad was heavily drunk that day, he started seeing things and got all spiritual. It's weird.
Jesus: Mhm.. Well I really have to go now.
Boy: Awww
Jesus: Yeah. I have to do some heaven stuff right now. God's been spending time with Satan recently which leaves me in charge of heaven.
Boy: OK, bye!
Jesus: Bye. (Halleluiah, Halleluiah, alleluia, alleluia, alleluia)
Boy: Boy, that was some great adventure.