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Freedom Typers
Epipost of no name

Epipost 1


Donerson: BLARGLE BLARGLEBLARGLEBLARGLEBLARGLEBLARGLEBLARGLE

Donerson: Wait a minute... Gasp A guy fucked me!

Urkel: Did I do that?

Later

Doctor: Hmmm, not good, not good at all..

Donerson: What is it, doctor? What is it?!?!?

Doctor: You're fat, gay, ugly, you have a stupid name, and your parents deserved to die in a genocide.

Donerson: Wow, that was harsh.

Doctor: Well maybe you should've pronounced my name right when you came in. It's DR. JOO, not Dr. Jew.

Donerson: Well, how long do I have before my time's up?

Doctor: According to this vandalized Wikipedia article, you have about a year left to live.

Donerson: Um, doc, that's the simple English article of a worker bee

Doctor: Oh yeah, silly me, I forgot to switch tabs. Hm, it says here that you have only 1 day to live.

Donerson: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Later

Donerson: I can't believe I'm about to die in 7 hours. Oh well, at least there's going to be some old Spongebob reruns.

TV: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! SpoooongeBob SquuuaarePaaaants!

Donerson: Oh boy, I can tell this episode is going to be good!

TV; Spongebob: Hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squidward, hey Squid-

TV; Squidward: WHAT DO YOU POSSIBLY WANT?!

TV; Spongebob: Hi! Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Donerson: Fuck this piece of shit. Those fucking troll mods lied to me. I'll never trust that gay ass Nickelodeon message board ever again. Fucking corporate Jews can't give a sick guy his favorite episode of Spongebob.

Ding Dong hehehehe I'm a door bell and I say dong

Donerson: Huh, someone must be at the door.

Opens Door

Donerson: A letter?

Deer, Doner- Oh wait, it's spelled 'dear,' right? Oh OK.

Dear Bonerson, we- Oh wait, sorry, scratch that out, it's just a typo

Dear Donerson, we would like to invite you to be on our new episode of The View
You may be wondering "How the fuck do these whores know me?" Well, one of our bored interns got in a flamewar with your doctor, and we thought of this amazing idea of suing him for harassment, because, you know, we're going to run out of money sometime after we quit this show so why can't you just get as much money as you can for your future?

Well, anyways, we looked at your doctor's tweets and we noticed that you were one of his patients. After we discovered that you had a horrible disease, we felt bad for you so we would like you to be on our show and discuss how much it sucks for you. In fact, go in right now, we have a conveniently placed studio right next to your house!

Sincerely, the sexist women from The View


Donerson: Holy shit, I'm going to be on The View!

Later

Barbara: Look, I'm saying that I'd like to be raped by a white man, but I'm not saying I would like it any better than a black man

Whoopi: Girl, bitch, you have no idea what you talkin' 'bout. I guarantee you bitches that blacks would be the new white in two years from now

Joy: Well, I think both of you don't know what you're talking about-

Elisabeth: Whoa, whoa, whoa, settle down girls

Whoopi: You not mah mamma bitch

Barbara: Well, we can't waste much more time, so here comes a special guest who has a disease that for some reason hasn't been mentioned yet. Hello, Donerson!

Donerson: Hi. I'm so glad to be on your show.

Sherri: Man, you sure are a passionate man with such bravery. You know, I remembered a man that was brave enough to try to have sex with me. Unfortunately, all the pressure and weight of my fat snapped his dick off and nearly suffocated him. That poor guy was never able to sexually appeal with women anymore.

Joy: Shut up with your stories and let the guy speak himself out. So, anyways, sweetie, how bad is your disease?

Donerson: Well, the doctor said that my lifespan would drastically be reduced. Now I have only a mere few hours until I part away.

Joy: Aw, poor sweetie, I wish I could help. May God be with you

Elisabeth: I thought you were agnostic. Is your amnesia acting up again, orphanage girl?

Joy: Don't bring up those horrible memories of the orphanage. I was slapped with a fish if I got a single word in a prayer wrong. Do you know how traumatized I was?

Sherri: I bet God's a sexy man who's willing to do me anytime

Whoopi: Shut the fuck up bitch, God wouldn't do you even for the sake of 'true Christians' with all your whale fat piling up against your twinkie filled stomach

Sherri: Why you daughter of a- Oh look, time's up. We'll be back with you next weekend with a discussion of Chinese politics and lesbians.

Joy: And The View is out!

Donerson: Well, bye TV.

Sherri: Next, next, time we're going to do a discussion on you, that fine with you?

Donerson: Yeah, I'm fine with that.

Heads Home


Donerson: I can't believe I'm about to die, it's just so unbelievable that I would die so unexpectedly..... I'-l-ll j-just get the pill-ow and sleep here.. Cries to sleep

Beep, beep, I'm an alarm clock and I sound like I'm being Bleeped out, man!

Donerson: Ohhhh, what is it... 5AM? I'm.. Still alive?

Still Alive Plays

Donerson: Shut the fuck up, I hate that game.

Donerson: I gotta tell the doctor about this!

Later

Doctor: Hmm

Donerson: What is it?

Doctor: You don't have a bad disease. I got confused with a patient or two and told them they would be living. Poor guys.

Donerson: So all that crying and being on TV-

Doctor: Yup. All because you thought you had a disease.

Heads Home


Donerson: Well, time to begin my 'second life.'

TV: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! SpoooongeBob SquuuaarePaaaants!

Donerson: Not this shit again

TV; Spongebob: Sideburns!

Donerson: Wait- Is this what I think it is?!? An old episode of Spongebob!

Later that day he found out that he actually had a dangerous disease, and so he died after having an orgasm from seeing a decent show in the first 5 years since they all have been obliterated by the Nielson guys. Don't worry, he'll magically come back to life in another epipost soon.
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Freedom Typers - by lol - 07-28-2011, 04:07 AM

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