04-30-2012, 12:12 AM
So last year, I moved. I lost contact with all my friends, and my old life fell to pieces. Buildism was my life, pretty literally.
Then earlier this year, one of my friends who I'd been especially close with, managed to get back in touch with me. We stayed in contact for a few months, and it was one of the best things that's happened to me in a long time.
Then about a month ago, I didn't get any messages for 2 weeks. I was worried, but not too concerned -- about this time last year, my Internet went out, as some of you might remember, though it's probably such a trivial a thing to fool myself into thinking you remember when you all probably don't.
Then, she got back in touch with me one day. Apparently, her mom isn't okay with her talking with me, even though we'd been real-life friends for more than 2 years, because I'm not their religion.
And today, she got back on, and we finally said goodbye, presumably forever, because I wouldn't be able to live with myself with her disobeying her parents. I'm a moderator here, you know how much I stick to rules and obeying those in charge.
I really don't know what to do now... My life's been like I was on a train, heading for a station that was straight ahead, and then the train suddenly took a switch around a corner and it's so sharp the train flung off the track, every single car, and the engine smashed apart and everything else got damaged. There was a long while where I just sat there, dazed, maybe getting up to straighten a few seats, but just unable to really do anything. Then she got back in touch, and helped me put a few of the cars back on the track, and even thinking ahead to putting the engine back on and maybe going somewhere. I'd fully realized that I'm never going to get to that station, at least not anywhere on time, but maybe I'll be able to get there or somewhere close soon. Then she told me that her mom didn't want her talking to me, and suddenly I've lost all motivation for getting the rest of the cars back up there. I even thought a bit about taking a sledgehammer to the engine -- what's the use in trying to get that piece of junk back together? I'll go walk somewhere else, and be alone...
Then she came back, and I thought it was all fixed, but it wasn't...
Now I have no idea what to do. I need help. I need things to do, suggestions for cheering up, getting myself out of this train wreck and back on track to somewhere, anywhere.
Help.
Then earlier this year, one of my friends who I'd been especially close with, managed to get back in touch with me. We stayed in contact for a few months, and it was one of the best things that's happened to me in a long time.
Then about a month ago, I didn't get any messages for 2 weeks. I was worried, but not too concerned -- about this time last year, my Internet went out, as some of you might remember, though it's probably such a trivial a thing to fool myself into thinking you remember when you all probably don't.
Then, she got back in touch with me one day. Apparently, her mom isn't okay with her talking with me, even though we'd been real-life friends for more than 2 years, because I'm not their religion.
And today, she got back on, and we finally said goodbye, presumably forever, because I wouldn't be able to live with myself with her disobeying her parents. I'm a moderator here, you know how much I stick to rules and obeying those in charge.
I really don't know what to do now... My life's been like I was on a train, heading for a station that was straight ahead, and then the train suddenly took a switch around a corner and it's so sharp the train flung off the track, every single car, and the engine smashed apart and everything else got damaged. There was a long while where I just sat there, dazed, maybe getting up to straighten a few seats, but just unable to really do anything. Then she got back in touch, and helped me put a few of the cars back on the track, and even thinking ahead to putting the engine back on and maybe going somewhere. I'd fully realized that I'm never going to get to that station, at least not anywhere on time, but maybe I'll be able to get there or somewhere close soon. Then she told me that her mom didn't want her talking to me, and suddenly I've lost all motivation for getting the rest of the cars back up there. I even thought a bit about taking a sledgehammer to the engine -- what's the use in trying to get that piece of junk back together? I'll go walk somewhere else, and be alone...
Then she came back, and I thought it was all fixed, but it wasn't...
Now I have no idea what to do. I need help. I need things to do, suggestions for cheering up, getting myself out of this train wreck and back on track to somewhere, anywhere.
Help.