Copypasta Thread (NSFW)

[ijfeswijfae]

Let's make this happen.

[Void]

[Innerwebs]

My sides. They hurt. Ogod stahp.

[ijfeswijfae]

"http://cache.ohinternet.com/images/6/6e/Copy-Pasta.jpg"
"ohinternet"

[Walrus]

Let's make this happen.

Of course New York City and London are "to-be-bombed".
qq

[Void]

Let's make this happen.

Of course New York City and London are "to-be-bombed".
qq

It puts a red dot on the location of anyone who views it.

[ijfeswijfae]

WARNING: DO NOT CONTINUE READING BEYOND THIS POINT IF YOU'RE A JEW AND ARE OFFENDED BY HARMLESS TEXT

Copypasta 1:
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and
I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m
the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision
the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit
to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is
being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life.
You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands.
Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I
will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what
unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue.
But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it.
You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

Copypasta 2: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you puta pequeno? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in Los Zetas, and
I’ve been involved in numerous executions on the Sinaloas, and I have over 300 public beheadings. I am trained in chainsaw warfare
and I’m the top decapitator in all of Juarez. You are nothing to me but just another head waiting to be severed. I will detatch it with a
lack of precision and cutting force the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth. You think you can get away with saying
that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, gringo. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of mariachi bands across the
USA and a narcocorrido is being written about you right now so you better prepare for the chainsaw, gordo. The chainsaw that wipes
out the pathetic little thing you call your head. You’re fucking dead, paco. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in exactly one
way, and that’s with my brand new Husqvarna 440 chainsaw. Not only am I extensively trained in chainsaw combat, but I have access
to the entire arsenal of the local hardware store and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable head off the face of the body,
you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you,
maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I
will shit fury all over your head and your head will come off in it. You’re fucking dead, gringo.

Copypasta 3: What the heck did you just flipping say about me, you big meanie? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Tiny Tots Program, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on the girl's bathroom, and
I have over 300 confirmed noogies. I am trained in Nerf warfare and I have the most gold stars in the entire
kindergarten class. You are nothing to me but just another butthead. I will beat you the heck up with
precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my dang words. You think you
can get away with saying that baloney to me on the glowy type-box? Think again, doodiehead. As we
speak I am contacting my secret network of teachers across the USA and your parents are being called to
pick you up right now so you better prepare for the spanking, junior. The spanking that wipes out the dumb
little thing you call your playtime. You're in big darn trouble, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can
wedgie you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively
trained in unarmed fartfights, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States PTA and I will use
it to its full extent to wipe your dorky bottom off the face of the playground, you little poopypants. If only
you could have known what serious punishments your little "smartypants" comment was about to bring
down upon you, maybe you would have held your goshdarned tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and
now you're paying the price, you silly doofus. I will spray boogers all over you and you will cry about it.
You're frickin grounded, buttmunch.

---

Copypasta 4:
What the flip did thee just flipping gabble about me, thine miniscule bitch? I’ll have thee know I bested
the most prestigious jousting class in the whole of Camelot, and I hath been involved in numerous
secret marches on behalf of his Majesty, King Arthur, and I hath over 300 confirmed victories on
horseback. I am trained in castle of Guerrilla warfare and I am indeed the highest ranking joustee in
the entire land of Great Britannia. Thee are nothing to me but another false crossbearer. I will joust
thine shambles with precision the likes of which hath never been observed in the King’s lands, mark
my flipping words! Thou think thou can escape retribution by shouting that hogwash at me from afar?
I implore thee to think again, peasant. As we converse I am contacting my secretive network of
knights across the realm and thine footsteps are being traced right now, so thou best prepare
thineself for the storm, pig-maggot! The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing thou call your
armour. Thou art a flipping dead man. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill thou in over seven
hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare lance. Not only am I extensively trained in mounted
combat, but I hath access to the entire arsenal of the Kings Royal Army, and I shall use it to its full
extent to wipe your miserable derriere off the face of the realm, thou miniscule feaces. If only thou
could have foreseen what unholy retribution your little “clever” challenge was about to bring down
upon thee, maybe thou would have held thee flipping tongue. But thou couldn’t, thou didn’t, and now
thee art paying the price, you goddamn fool. I shall shit fury all over thou britches and thee will drown
in it. Thou art flipping dead, child.

Copypasta 5:
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you male pig? I'll have you know I graduated top of my Womyn's Studies class,
and I've been involved in numerous demonstrations against oppression of womynkind, and I have over 300 signatures on my
petition. I am trained in debate tactics and I'm the top speaker in the entire Feminist Frequency. You are nothing to me but just
another cis scum. I will reeducate the fuck out of you with feminism the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth,
mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, male oppressor.
As we speak I am contacting my public network of activists across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better
prepare for the storm, misogynist. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your worldview. You're fucking dead,
nerd. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can disprove your biased theories in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with no
preparation time. Not only am I extensively trained in rhetorics, but I have access to the entire funding of the Tropes vs Women
in Video Games project and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable opinions off the face of the Internet, you rapist. If
only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you
would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you godessdamn idiot. I will
rain empowerment all over womyn and your cisprivilege will drown in it. Your rape culture is over, man.

[ijfeswijfae]

Copypasta 6:

Ohello /B/, my name is Chips Handon. I always like to lork at 4cham and I also like
mudflips too, as you do. DASU DASU LOL. I also like having sex with underage
children (HOES DON'T KNOW ABOUT MY DICK), shop the wops, do a battle roll and i
just lost the match. Due to the fact that i'm not a noobfag i know that /random/ is in
posession of a great variety of "PC", at least those of you that aren't underage b%. in a
nutshell, I need Anomalous to deliver to an Astrafaglian /re/tard some of this "PC" (you
know what i mean LOL). ROW ROW ROW THE BOAT. PLEASE DONT MAGE THIS
THRED IT IS NOT COPYPIZZA, BUT ORIGINAL COMMENT

Copypasta 7:
hi every1 im new!!!!!!! *holds up spork* my name is katy but u can
call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol...as u can see im very random!!!!
thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me ^_^... im 13 years old
(im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind
(im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its
SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random
ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol...neways i hope 2 make
alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!

DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again ^_^ hehe...toodles!!!!!

love and waffles,

* ~t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m~*

Copypasta 8:
What the fuck did you just fucking say about Navy Seal copypastas, you little newfag? l'll have you
know they've ranked top out of all the comments on the Internet, and they have been translated in
numerous contexts on 4chan, and have over 300 confirmed variants. Navy Seal copypastas are trained in
memetic warfare and are the top copypasta in the entire circlejerk arsenel. You are nothing to them
but just another target. They will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never
been seen before on this subreddit, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying
that shit about Navy Seal copypastas over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak this
copypasta is contacting it's secret network of /b/tards across the USA and your IP is being doxxed
right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little
thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. Navy Seal copypastas can be anywhere, anytime,
and they can confuse you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with mad-lib permutations. Not
only are they extensively trained in trolling, but they have access to the entire arsenal of
Anonymous and will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the Internet,
you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment
was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't,
you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. This copypasta will shit fury all
over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

Copypasta 9:
dude I think you might have something wrong with your brain. Why are you trying to be all cyberbully on
me. Do you really think anyone cares about you. You talk to people like they are trash. Why would you want
to come off like that. Does it make you feel tough? Have fun going through life wondering why people don't
like you. I'll give you a hint though, you try to make others feel like ****. But you have failed on me. I know
what you are. See, the thing is, I'm a nice guy. You on the other hand can't control your stupidity. You really
don't even realize that you are a jerk ,do you? When your older maybe you can look back on times like this
and see that you where unnecessarily rude to people you don't know. Right now you think you are being
cleaver and it is just a fun time. Keep treating people like you do and see where you end up. You can not
compete with my intellect so I warn you to give up before you embarrass yourself further..

Copypasta 10:
Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro. Such a riveting tale, I honestly copy and pasted it to word, saved on my hard drive, backed it up on a jump drive, drove to the bank, put the
jump drive in the safe deposit box, and will leave it there until my kids turn about 12 (when they can actually state their age, and ask what it is I'm showing them), when I will pick it up,
put it in an old USB drive reader and relay this cool story to them and tell them, "kids, this is what a cool story should look and sound like...not like the stories your generation tells."

Copypasta 11:
this thread sucks. If I ever see your name post a thread again I'm going to make sure it's 1 star. If there
was ever an option for 0 stars you'd be it. If I had high reps I'd neg you into oblivion, but until that day..
OP is a phaggot.

Copypasta 12:
Saged, reported, hidden, called the cops, called the Fire Department, called pizza hut, called the USN, called the Royal Navy, called the Red Army, called the FBI. called the CIA, called Interpol, called the KGB, called the USMC, called the USAF, called the Royal Air force, called MI 6, called Scotland Yard, called the US National Guard of every state, called NYPD, called Obama, called the Queen, called Putin, called David Cameron, called every Governor of every US State, used my time phone to call Winston Church hill, As well as Hitler, Stalin, Theodore Roosevelt, George Washington, Montezuma, ever Caesar, and Gilgamesh, called US Army, called British Army in every era, called every phone sexline, called papa john's, called the US Coast Guard, called my State Senators, called my Senators, called every republican in the US, called Dr. Who, called the Pope, called my local Gang lords, called the State Patrol of ever state west of the Mississippi, called all of my local news channels, called Star Fleet, called The Sun, called The national enquirer, called CNN, called Scot Pelly, called Steven Colbert, called half of the Mexican Drug Cartels, called Nintendo, called the Japan Maritime Self-Defense Force, called the head of the Illuminati, called ever free mason, called bilderberg, called my neighbors, called the mayor of ever city in France, called my mom, called the Emperor of Man, and called every school district in Canada.

[Corgi]

Copypasta 7:
hi every1 im new!!!!!!! *holds up spork* my name is katy but u can
call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol...as u can see im very random!!!!
thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me ^_^... im 13 years old
(im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind
(im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its
SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random
ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol...neways i hope 2 make
alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!

DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again ^_^ hehe...toodles!!!!!

love and waffles,

* ~t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m~*

good god thats scary shit

[ijfeswijfae]

Copypasta 13:
Don't say another Goddamn word. Up until now, I've been polite. If you say ANYTHING else - ONE word - I will kill myself. And
when my tainted spirit finds its destination, I will topple the Master of that dark place. From my black throne, I will lash together a
machine of bone and blood, and fueled by my hatred for you this Fear Engine will bore a hole between this world and that one.
When it begins, you will hear the sound of children screaming -as though from a great distance. A smoking orb of NOTHING will
grow above your bed, and from it will emerge a thousand starving crows. As I slip through the widening maw in my new form, you
will catch only a glimpse of my radiance before you are incinerated. Then, as tears of bubbling pitch stream down my face, my
dark world will begin. I will open one of my six mouths, and I will sing the song that ends the Earth.

Copypasta 14:
I don't give a fuck who you are our where you live, you can count on me to be there to bring your life to a hellish end. I'll put you in
so much fucking pain It'll make Jesus being nailed to the cross in the desert look like a fucking back massage on a tropical
island. I don't give a fuck how tough you are, how well you can fight, or how many fucking guns you own to protect yourself. I'll
fucking show up at your house when you aren’t home. I'll turn all the lights on in your house, leave all the water running, open
your fridge door and not close it, and turn the gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. You're going to start stressing the
fuck out. Your blood pressure will triple and you'll have a fucking heart attack. You'll go to the hospital for a heart operation and
the last thing you'll see when they're putting you under in the operating room is me hovering over you dressed as a doctor. When
you wake up after the operation you'll be scared for your fucking life wondering what I did to you while you where being operated
on and wondering if there is a ticking time bomb in you chest waiting to go off. You'll recover fully from your heart surgery and
when you walk out of the front door of the hospital to go home I'll run you over with my fucking car out of nowhere and kill you. I
just wanted you to know how easily I could have destroyed your pathetic fucking excuse for a life, but how I would rather go to
great fucking length to make sure your last remaining days are spent in a living breathing fucking hell. It's too fucking late to save
yourself, but don't bother committing suicide either. I'll fucking resuscitate you and kill you you again my fucking self. Welcome to
hell, population: you.

Copypasta 15: Response to gorilla warfare copypasta
Dude are you for real right now? You have got to be kidding me you fucking faggy piece of shit. I bet 1000 dollars you are a fucking liar.
You fucking guido tool douchebag. 1. You are too young and shitty to even graduate from school 2. In case you did. How many
blowjobs did you give to graduate? 3. Secret raids on Al-Quaeda? I bet you only sucked Osama's dick 4. 300 confirmed kills? I think
you meant 300 confirmed anal sex with men 5. It's Guerrilla warfare, you fucking ass douchebag cunt 6. You think your cool for getting
trolled for reading this? 7. I don't give a fuck if you come to my house with your spy bitches, I will beat the fuck out of you 8. Only with
your bare hands? I bet you can only do handjobs, fag 9. The entire arsenal? you are a fucking faggot lier 10. If your SO badass, than
why are you on /b/? 11. You better watch yourself because I will fucking hunt you down myself.

Copypasta 16:

Hey Faggots,
My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are
everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I
mean, I guess it’s fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but
you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on
facebook.
Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I was
captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do
you play, other than “jack off to naked drawn Japanese people”? I also get straight
A’s, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You
are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It’s me and my bitch

Copypasta 17:
u are 1 fukin cheeky cunt mate i swear i am goin 2 reck u i swear on my mums life and i no u are
scared lil bitch gettin ur m8 to send me messages saying dont meet up coz u r sum big bastard with
muscles lol fukin sad m8 really sad jus shows what a scared lil gay boy u r and whats all this crap
ur m8 sendin me about sum bodybuildin website that 1 of your faverite places to look at men u lil
fukin gay boy fone me if u got da balls cheeky prick see if u can step up lil queer.

Copypasta 18:
U ARE A FAGGOT I WILL FIND YOU I WILL SEARCH THROUGH FACEBOOK I WILL FIND YOUR ADDRESS I WILL TAKE A
PLANE TO WHERE YOU LIVE AND I WILL THEN TAKE THE HOTEL ROOM, I WILL DRESS UP AND GO OUT, I WILL
CONTACT A WEAPON SELLER AND BUY A HIGH QUALITY SILENCED .45 FROM HIM, THEN I WILL GO BACK TO HOTEL
ROOM, WHEN ITS NIGHT TIME I WILL GO TO THE CLUB WHERE YOU ARE, I WILL PRETEND TO BE ANOTHER GUY IN
THE CLUB TAKING DRINKS BUT THEY WILL BE FAKE DRINKS, THEN WHEN YOU'RE PRETTY WASTED AND YOU'RE GOING
BACK HOME WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND I WILL FOLLOW YOU TO YOUR HOME, WHEN YOU REACH YOUR HOME I WILL WAIT A
FEW HOURS, THEN I WILL FIND A WAY TO GET INSIDE YOUR HOUSE, WHEN I ENTER I WILL SLOWLY OPEN THE DOOR
WHERE YOU AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND ARE SLEEPING OR HAVING SEX AND I WILL SHOOT 6 TIMES, 2 TO THE HEAD 1 TO
THE CHEST TO EACH ONE OF YOU, THEN I WILL LEAVE VERY SLOWLY AND LEAVE THE TV ON, I WILL THEN GO TO
THE BEACH AND BURY THE WEAPON PARTS IN THE SAND AND ONE IN THE SAND IN THE WATER, THEN I WILL GO BACK
TO HOTEL AND TAKE A FLIGHT BACK TO HOME

Copypasta 19:
ooooooh I'm so scared, you think you're tough pussy? I'm behind 7 proxies and use ZoneAlarm, Sygate
and Comodo Internetnet Securtiy which I all keep up-to-date. THAT'S THREE FIREWALLS AT THE SAME TIME
motherfucker. You can't hack me you little piece of shit. You're peeshooter and kung fu won't make a
difference when my friend woh's a B-51 pilot in the Air Force can turn your entire house and backyard
into a fuckhuge bomb crater. You are pathetic, while you're sitting there writing insults like the
sad little nerd you are i'm having sex with my hot girlfriends. Yeah you read that right, i have not
one but FIVE girlfriends. Top that motherfucker, I dont think you've ever even held hands with a
girl.

Copypasta 20:
You are so visibly upset, that you need to create shitpost on our glorious thread in an attempt to raise your self worth.
Don't you know that you are pathetic? You worthless bag of filth. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you.
I am the fucking pinnacle of man, both body and mind. I attend an Ivy league university, completely payed off by scholarships, with the leftover money used
to buy myself a RX-7FD and a vintage Fairlady S30 Z with a L28 engine combined with twin turbos tuned by the devil himself. My grade point average is
perfect point O. After I finish my dual bachelors I will be accepted straight away into the doctorate program. I will have two doctorate degree's by age twenty-five, owe zero debts, and make more money a year than you will in a lifetime. The funny thing is, this is the average 2dworlds user. There are many who far surpass
me.
By the way, do you have any idea what gorilla warfare is? I do, I was in the US Marine Core and I perfected it.
I also reached God of the internet status recently so now I will be mythified to hell and back and future archaeologists will unearth the internet and will think I
was some kind of powerful historical figure.
Do you know the dander your in if I find you?
If I ever meet you in real life I'll snap you in half like a chocolate-chip cookie.
Go ahead and reply, doing so only proves my point that you are a bleating fool, laughing behind your screen, flapping these adipous cheeks of yours while
your wawa chocolate milk drips all overy your XXXL t-shirt. Do you have any idea of how long you have been there, sitting on this same chair that because of
some unknown miracle managed to withstand your massive weight? You have been there for weeks, months, locked up in your room that smells like Doritos
and Wawa milk.