Freedom Typers

[lol]

Myem's Video Gaming Central

Hello, I am Myem, a professional video game player and I'm here to give you the best walkthroughs without any hesitation. I also obsess over anime and spend at least all of my money on plushies. In fact, I have received a threat for eviction and I'm probably going to be on Hoarders for having too many plushies in my home. My RL social life has been dead ever since my first plushy. Yeah, I'm that hardcore.

Anyways, today's game would be....... Metroid! This game sounds like an enjoyable classic from all the online reviews I read.

OK, let's play!

This is easy... HOLY SHIT A MOTHERFUCKING BAT-THING ATTACKED ME... Ok, I killed it. Ew, what the hell are those spiny things? Whatever. Those door sounds are annoying. OK, I think I'm supposed to go into morph ball to get through this part.. Yay! HOLY FUCK SHIT ENEMIES EVERYWHERE- I'm in the next room now. Damn, this jumping thing is hard. Ugh, more jumping. FINALLY, a room without platforms.

Ok, a corridor. I wonder what's going to happen on the other side of the door. Ok, some other rooms that I'll have to jump in.... Stupid rapist bats.

Yay, a power up, I think. More jumping.. Holy shit there's magma below me. YES! I made it. Another corridor. Enemies. Corridor. Enemies. Yay another power up. A crap load of enemies. Some jumping.

Ok, I'm in this blue room with tons of annoying enemies and what the hell, Nintendo? There's creepy music. Probably I'm going to battle a boss right now. Oh, just a power up. Going back and down. HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT I MOTHERFUCKING DIED IN MOTHERFUCKING MAGMA. Fuck this game, fuck my life.

[Qwertygiy]

Like Interwebs said, you're gonna have to change this up a bit. Even though the filter blocks it, excessive swearing even when not being very serious is against the rules.

[lol]

That 12's Show

IT'S THE 2012 SHOW IT'S THE 2012 SHOW IT'S THE 2012 SHOW AND THAT'S THE END OF THIS INTRO

Dirk: Aw I'm so lonely. How do those jocks get so many girlfriends? Sigh, maybe I'll just die alone and get a 2 line article about my failed novels on Wikipedia

Cool Dude: Hey girls, I just *beep**beep**beep* and *beep**beep**beep**beep**beep**beep**beep*

Cheerleader: Like o em gee I totally want to be with this guy like for life like he's so cool

Dirk: They seem to be getting along fine.... WAIT! Swearing arouses women! If I thought of that sooner, I'd be POP CULTURE REFERENCE

Dirk: Hi cheerleaders, I like to doo doo da da

Cheeleaders: Like el o el, you're like so, uncool, loser.

Dirk: Sigh

(Later)

That friend: Man, you were probably too good for those ugly girls.

Dirk: Well, besides getting a girlfriend, I have another serious problem

That friend: Com'on, tell me, man

Dirk: I think I have lost the ability of swearing

That friend: Yo, man, you gotta be jokin' man that's bee ess

Dirk: Sigh

That friend: Yo man don't worry. What you need to do is have some talk with yo grandpa. My grandpa helped my *beep**beep**beep**beep*

(Later)

Dirk: Hi grandpa.

GP: Hi sonny. Watcha need?

Dirk: Well, I think I have a serious problem. I can't swear.

Grandpa: Well, sonny, I think the best solution for your type of problem is to just release your anger.

Dirk: Release my anger?

Grandpa: Yes, release it. Bottling up your emotions is not healthy and it is the leading cause of non-swearability.

Dirk: OK, I'm gonna go burn down a church!

Grandpa: Yeah, you go sonny!

(Dirk leaves)

Grandpa: Fucking retard.

(later)

Dirk: (Insane-like) Hehe, some gasoline here, some gasoline there... Swearabilty here I come!

(Lights up match and ignites church on fire)

Dirk: Woohoo! This is totally worth it!

(Dun Dun)

Dirk: Agh, headache. Where am I? Ooo! I'm in a courtroom! Ooo! I'm in Law & Order! I told everyone of my classmates that I would be a famous actor one day! Beedle-leedle dee all of you!

Judge: Order in the court, order in the court!

Dirk: Ooo! Ooo! Are you judge judy?!

Judge: What the hell is this kid talking about?

Dirk: Ooo! I bet I'm in-

Judge: Where were we... Oh yeah, God Vs. Dirk!

Dirk: Oooo! Is the new episode of the 4th season of Moral Orel?!?!? Wait no no, this is the new episode of Friends, right? Two and a half Man? MadTV? Population Zero?

Judge: Shut the *ft* up. Your pop culture references don't even make sense, just like the new episodes of Family Guy. *beep* Fox for airing that crap.

God: Are we ever going to get started with the case?

Dirk: Aw, even the judge swears. I'm just sad that I have lost the ability to swear and therefore can't get any girls. I'm sorry if I caused any harm.

Judge: All this over non-swearabilty? Silly, there's many great ways on how to swear with no mouth involvement.

Dirk: (Sniff Sniff) There is?

Judge: Of course. You can swear through the Internet and even plain paper! Then all the women will be following you on Facebook and who knows what else. The possibilities are endless.

Judge: Since you probably learned your lesson, I'm going to dismiss the trial.

God: Mistrial! Mistrial!

Dirk: Yay! I'm going to go on Conservapedia and spam swears all over the site!

God: Well, this was truly a half-assed epipost.

[Duck]

this is [censored] brilliant you [censored]able [censored]! If I wasn't such as [censored] I would [censored] you a new [censored]

[lol]

The Dan Hester Show

Welcome to The Dan Hester Show! I'm your host, Dan Hester!

(Audience Cheering)

Hehe...

(Later)

(Crowd Still Cheering)

OK, now shut the fuck up. First of all, um, since this is my first time with you guys, I would like to introduce myself before we talk about something. I have two beautiful daughters, one 4, one 12, in South Dokota who are watching this right now.

(Crowd Aw's)

I regularly expose them to pornography and violence so they won't bitch about every little thing they see or hear.

Enough about me, we have a special guest!

(Crowd Cheers)

Chad Williams!

CW: Hello, Dan. I'm here to show you my new book, "The Legend of Zzzoxzxozoxzoxzoxzoxzoxozoxzoxozoxooxooxoxoooooosodsoods'- sSIISdisidsidis/sldsdsds-''sd s's's sds' skkdskkkkkk smmmmmmmmsd 'o'o'ew," or you can just call it LoZ.

OK, first of all, what the fuck? Is that your amazing title? You know what? Get the hell out of my show, you're a bigger embarrassment than the Chicago Tribune.

We'll get back to you soon, right after all these tears are drained!

[lol]

That 12's Show

IT'S THE 2012 SHOW IT'S THE 2012 SHOW IT'S THE 2012 SHOW AND THAT'S THE END OF THIS INTRO

We're sorry, but due to those crazy liberal censorship laws, this episode of the 2012 show has been taken off the air.


What would happen next? Find out on the next episode of That 12's Show!

---

Our studio suffered from a financial crisis and the epipost was unable to air. The above misinformation was provided by our imaginary rivals who lost a film festival award to us.

---

ATTENTION

AN UPCOMING EPIPOST IS ABOUT TO BECOME THE FIRST FT BLOG POST TO COMPLETELY BE IN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE

[lol]

It's the two guys of the Internet Sho!!!W!!!

WAISHIO KAISA ASEMI FINO


EPISODE SIX.

塩を渡します。

US: Where am I?

R: You were in a comma right after one the poor people attacked you.

US: So the last epipost never happened?

R: ?

US: Nothing..

US: Why is the sky all foggy and gloomy all of a sudden?

R: Dead Meme Mountain is over there!

US: Dead Meme Mountain?

R: Yes, Dead Meme Mountain. I heard some guy lives over there and can aid us in our quest. It is also the resting place of many dead memes.

(Later)

B: WHY THIS SUCKS

R: Don't worry, we're almost there..

US: HOLY SHIT A RANDOM LASER THAT HAS AI

R: Fuck the Japanese. Looks like we're going to have to find a way to defeat these lasers or just give up...

B: I'LL STOP THE LASER, WITH MY BRITISH POLITENESS

B: HELLO SIR, CAN YOU-

(Frying laser sound)

R: We lost Brit!

US: Oh well. He never really played an important role in this series.

R: Well, I've lived a crappy life. I guess now it's time to end it..

US: (Closes Eyes)

Ooh ooh.. We're no strangers to love. You know the rules and so do I...

US: Where's that godly voice coming from? Hey, it's weakening the laser!

(Laser suddenly dies)

US: Holy shit, that laser just died like Obama's reputation

R: We're finally here!

US: Hey, aren't you supposed to make a message to the audience before the epipost is finished?

R: Nah, we've already broke the 4th wall harder than Reagen was on the Berlin wall and that chick at Walmart.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? WEUWHREUAWHEDUEWAWREWR

[lol]

Toronto has a huge GIGGITY for her CHICKEN BREASTS MILK SUPPLIER.

[Tyler]

Toronto has a huge GIGGITY for her CHICKEN BREASTS MILK SUPPLIER.

My god.

[Jacob__mybb_import1]

The CN Tower is in that picture, if you can find it...