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Freedom Typers
Thread of the Day

April was the month of intellectual discussion. Read from pages 4 to 8 to witness ye olde drama.

Notice

New epipost coming up.
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(02-11-2012, 09:46 PM)LOL Wrote: Notice

New epipost coming up.

Foreign language one?
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(02-11-2012, 09:52 PM)Mustachio Wrote:
(02-11-2012, 09:46 PM)LOL Wrote: Notice

New epipost coming up.

Foreign language one?

I'm a bit sick, so I'm going to have to delay the foreign language epipost. Regular epiposts will still be posted.
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JEFF, THE LURKING BUILDIST

One day Jeff was bored so he decided to lurk on Buildism's forums. Suddenly, he saw a bunch of MineCraft threads and had no idea what anyone was talking about. After the 2nd day of MC mod threads, he suffered severe headaches and vomited on his cat that later died in a volcano. After the 4th day, Jeff was so tired of seeing MC threads his IQ started to decrease to -10 and his body turned inside out. Jeff was so confused by these MC threads since he doesn't play MC and later died in a horrific scene of insanity and being too dumb to live. Later, the guys from the show NCIS visited Jeff's house and found a dead body and a computer screen that had a thread about MC mods. That NCIS cast later died from insanity and confusion and the next cast also died from trying to attempt this lost episode. Due to not being able to air this episode, NBC canceled NCIS and Obama got mad so he nuked India. India was so confused about its sexuality so it bombed France. France then bombed Israel and World War III started and everyone died.

THE END
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(02-12-2012, 02:36 AM)LOL Wrote: JEFF, THE LURKING BUILDIST

One day Jeff was bored so he decided to lurk on Buildism's forums. Suddenly, he saw a bunch of MineCraft threads and had no idea what anyone was talking about. After the 2nd day of MC mod threads, he suffered severe headaches and vomited on his cat that later died in a volcano. After the 4th day, Jeff was so tired of seeing MC threads his IQ started to decrease to -10 and his body turned inside out. Jeff was so confused by these MC threads since he doesn't play MC and later died in a horrific scene of insanity and being too dumb to live. Later, the guys from the show NCIS visited Jeff's house and found a dead body and a computer screen that had a thread about MC mods. That NCIS cast later died from insanity and confusion and the next cast also died from trying to attempt this lost episode. Due to not being able to air this episode, NBC canceled NCIS and Obama got mad so he nuked India. India was so confused about its sexuality so it bombed France. France then bombed Israel and Wlll started and everyone died.

THE END
BEAUTIFUL

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New 'That 12's Show' epipost coming up.
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That 12's Show

IT'S THE 2012 SHOW IT'S THE 2012 SHOW IT'S THE 2012 SHOW AND THAT'S THE END OF THIS INTRO

Dirk: Sigh, I'll never be famous... Like one of those Hollycrap producers who always ruin books by adapting them to movies...

That friend: Yo man, I feel you, I feel you, like that time I wanna be on Nascar course but they say I too young and inexperienced and I'm all like "why don't you say that to my mother's face when she was giving birth to me? Huh, niggers?" Don't worry, I defend you from lawyers.

Dirk: Hey! We should make our own movie!

TF: Yo man good idea man. How we make money to fund movie though?

Dirk: LOL Corp. can fund us. Those guys fund everything.

(Later)

Dirk: What's our current status?

TF: Well so far one of the actors committed the suicide through the grinder cause of some MC threads and chats. I found some guts and bones but cannot find the brain or heart.

Dirk: So far, so good!

Some person: Guys! We have received a letter from Hollywood!

Dirk: Hm?

Dear Dirk,

(One tl;dr letter later)

Dirk: Hollywood's closing us down?! Fuck those assholes. What about our lawyers?

Some person: LOL Corp is currently being investigated by the FBI, which suspends our funding for lawyers or this film.

Dirk: Guys, I have an announcement!

Actor #1: Hurry up, it's our lunch break!

Dirk: Unfortunately, we're being closed by Hollywood and our funds are suspended..

Actor #1: Thank God I'm free!

(Everyone besides Dirk, TF, and some person rushes out of the studio)

Dirk: Sigh, now I'll never be famous...

Some person: Well, I gotta go to my Daughter's birthday party.. (Leaves)

TF: Yo man, don't worry, we could try next time. We become so famous, we make George Clooney turn to George Clowney.

Dirk: Maybe someday, maybe someday...

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That 12's Show


Dirk: Hey TF! Welcome to my house.

TF: Yo man where the candy man

Dirk: It's in the refrigerator but due to common knowledge refrigerators are in the same place women are.

TF: Why don't we ask politely then?

Dirk: Hm... OK.

Dirk: Hey mom, can we have some candy?

Mom: No sweetie.

Dirk: Sigh

TF: Yo did ya get the candy?

Dirk: No.... Why does my mom forbid us to have candy when you come to my house?

TF: I don't know man but I think it has something to with homosexuality

Dirk: We could still do plenty of other fun stuff. I have a PS3 and an Xbox 360

TF: Yo man let's play

(5 hours later)

TF: Yo man can we stop playing Conker's Bad Fur Day and get some candy man I'm hungry

Dirk: But in order to get candy in these desperate times, we'll have to smuggle it...

TF: Yo man that's why I'm here to help you get man yo

Dirk: Sigh, let's do it.

TF: hehe you sound like you're accepting an offer for sex

(Later)

Dirk: OK, now that we have the train that drove around our Christmas tree, we can use it along with other complicated toy stuff so the candy can be transported to us

Dirk: TF, you will try to grab some extra candy in some storage places that the transportation toys cannot reach. I will be on the lookout for any errors and/or malfunctions in my plan or transportation method.

TF: Hehe, I'm pro at smuggling candy.

(Later)

TF: Hehe, M&Ms, Kit Kats, Hershey's, yum! Some here, some there...

Mom: What are you doing?!

TF: Holy shit! Dirk, hurry man! It's the kitchen patrol! Someone save me!

Dirk: (Upstairs) (Hyped on candy) HEHEHEHEHEE, YUMMY CANDY MMMMMMMM

TF: Oh no man! I'm gonna die! There's only one way to escape..... I must head for the street!

(Runs out of the house and into the street)


TF: YES! NO ONE CAN STOP ME NOW!

TF: HEHE, HAHAHAHA, I SEE A LIGHT HEADING TOWARDS ME! TAKE ME GOD! TAKE ME TO YOUR HEAVENLY KINGDOM!!!

(Smash!)

Dirk: HUH? (Looks out windows) NO, TF! DAMN IT, DAMN MY LIFE!!

(Runs downstairs and out of the house into the street)

Dirk: (Calms down) (Kneeling down) It's this candy that has cursed us. Maybe mom had a reason on why we should not have candy.. Maybe-

(Repetitive car horns)

Dirk: (Looks towards bright, nearing headlight) Dad, TF, I'm coming...

(Smash!)




Dirk: (Opens eyes)

Dirk: Dad, is that you?




(Beeping sound)


(Opens eyes again)

Dirk: Dad, where did you go? Oh, mom....

Mom: (Worried expression) You're at the hospital, sweetie

Dirk: I don't see the irony of this.

Do not smuggle, kids!
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[Image: LBzwV.jpg]

Next day: WOMAN FOUND AFTER BEING RESCUED
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That 12's Show


IT'S THE 2012 SHOW IT'S THE 2012 SHOW IT'S THE 2012 SHOW AND THAT'S THE END OF THIS INTRO


Dirk: Hello, depressing new dawn.

Dirk: Hope I become the club president on Monday or everyone can just burn in hell.

(Later)

Dirk: Hm, these flyers need more glitter in order to attract the more queerish parts of my school.

Dirk: Hey Ike, have any glitter?

Ike: No, I gave it all away to Bob 2 days ago. You know, I was originally supposed to run club president, but Bob convinced me not to run. I am excellent at charisma according to him, so he used me as his puppet to be spreading all the "Vote for motherfucking Bob" BS. It's only this morning since I realized how much of a tool I am for falling for his asshattery.

Dirk: No glitter then. I wished I had some comic relief to keep me off moping.

Ike: Hey, do you have anyone helping you spread your image and crap like that?

Dirk: Well, I was supposed to have this one friend who was going to help me, but.... I don't think he's ever coming back.

Ike: I can help you, but only because I want to see Bob fail.

Dirk: Well, we could put up these advertisement banners or...-

(Later, after school)

Dirk: Hm, time to go now..

Ike: Hey, wait up!

Dirk: Huh....?

Ike: I admire your teamwork last period. How about we officially become friends?

Dirk: It's been a while since I had a friend so um..

Ike: Hey, I know what you're going through. Your friend made a huge emotional mess and blamed it on you? Right?!?

Dirk: Not really-

Ike: Oh! Did he-

Dirk: Listen, it's a tragic and complicated story, I'll explain it later, I promise.

Ike: Oh, OK. We can be friends, right though?

Dirk: I guess so.

Ike: Great, I'll be at your house when your parents accept me.

Dirk: Well, my parents doesn't mind so-

Ike: Great. Heh, we go on the same bus.

(Later)

Ike: So this is your house.

Dirk: Yeah.

Dirk: And this is my room.

Dirk: Hold on, I need to check something...

Ike: Hey, is that a forum you're looking at?

Dirk: Erm, yeah.

Ike: Hm, I recognise that forum.

Dirk: You.. You do?

Ike: Yes, I have about a 1000 posts there.

Dirk: So, that was you?

Ike: Heh, life is weird.

Dirk: Huh, I think we might get along well..

(On Election Day)

Dirk: Oh shit, I'm nervous. I hate giving speeches in front of people.

Ike: Don't worry, just get out there. They're too stupid to understand any of our speeches, but I heard that the key of winning club elections is confidence.

Dirk: Well, here I go.

Dirk: Hello, club members, I'm here to (One tl;dl speech later)

Dirk: Oh god, I really hope I get elected.

Ike: And the vote count is in!

Ike: And the president of the club is..... Holy fuck balls. Bob?! How the fuck is that possible?

Dirk: Well, it doesn't really matter now. I've had fun and that's what matters.

Some Kid: (Rushing in) Guys, guys! The votes were rigged!

Dirk & Ike: Huh?

Some kid: (Panting) Yeah, turns out that Bob was trying to somehow submit his own votes but we found out that there were more votes than club members, and that Bob isn't so good at disguising his own handwriting.

Ike: Looks like this does end with a happy ending!

Some kid: Well, I'm going to have to hurry for a report on class attendance. (Rushes out of the room)

Ike: So, wanna read some FT posts after school?

Dirk: Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.


THE END
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