Freedom Typers

[Fat_Sacks]

Bob needs to ask Glome to disguise his handwriting

[Hippo]

Thread of the Day

April was the month of intellectual discussion. Read from pages 4 to 8 to witness ye olde drama.

I actually agree with Rare on this.

[lol]

Red Dawkings

Boy: Ooooh I'm so bored my life sucks

TV: DO YOU WANT TO SEE LIVE WRESTLING RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FUCKING EYES? WELL CHRISTIAN WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT IS COMING TO YOUR TOWN! GET SOME DAMN TICKETS OR WE'LL MURDER YOUR FAMILY! CHRISTIANS GET A 1% DISCOUNT! SO OUTRAAAAAAGEOUS

Boy: Hey! I want to be there!

Boy: HEY MOM, I WANT TO SEE THE CWE FIGHT HERE THIS WEEKEND! MOM MOM

Mom: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU LITTLE BITCH

Boy: NO YOU I WANT TO SEE IT RIGHT NOW MOM

Mom: HERE HONEY TAKE THIS MONEY AND PLEASE THAT FUCKING BOY TIL HE SHUTS UP

(Later, on Sunday)

Boy: Oh man, oh man! This is the first time I'm about to see a live CWE wrestling fight right before my eyes! 4 more hours!!!

(4 hours later)

Boy: Hehehhehe I can feel the tension even from outside of the arena, I can't believe I'm about to go in!!

Father: Shut up boy and let's hurry before they start fighting

(Inside the arena)

Boy: Oh god oh god they are about to start!!!!

Announcer: HERE COMES JOHN SINNA,

(John Sinna walks down to the ring)

Announcer: AND THEN THERE'S...... THE UNDERCHRIST

(The Underchrist walks down the arena)

Announcer: NOW FIGHT QUEERS

Announcer: Hey, why aren't you fighting? Oh yeah, my speech. I HATE YOU ALL, I HOPE YOU ALL DIE, BLA BLA BLA, FIGHT!

(JS and TUC wrestle)

Boy: Oh boy this is so fun too watch! Oooh I need to go to the restroom so bad. I'll just go really quickly..

(Later, in the restroom)

Boy: (Urinates) wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah haha

Voice 1: Hey, do you have the converter ready yet?

Voice 2: No, but it should be in just about 15 minutes. Soon, everyone will be wearing silly hats, worshiping one religion, and definitely be circumcised.

Boy: Circumcised?

Voice 1: Hey, where did that voice come from? Check that stall!

Boy: Oh no! No!!!

Voice 2: Hit him!

(Bang!)

Boy: Augh, where am I?

Voice 1 & 2: Hahahaha

Boy: Who are you?!?!

Voice 1: I am the CEO of CWE.

Voice 2: And I am the maker of the soon to be Jewish domination device.

Boy: But I thought you guys were Christian and Christian friendly!

CEO: Haha, as you can see, our people have suffered many millenniums. The only way to avenge our lost people is to prosper and rise among many other religions. Of course, early anti Semites such as Hitler had no idea how great this world will be under our vision, so-

Boy: Your vision?! This is enslavement! You're no better than Hitler!

Maker: Oh shut up-

Boy: No, I'm tired of people telling me to shut up!

CEO: I almost feel sorry for your poor soul now that we have to kill you for finding out about our secret, so I'll give you a tip of information before we finally put mankind under our hands.

CEO: You see that tomb over there? That's the real resting place of Jesus. A specific prayer can bring him back to life and of course he won't be very happy with us but you'll never guess it right.

Maker: And now we're going to kill you in about 10 seconds.

Boy: Oh no! Oh no! Um... (Prays) Um not this one..

Maker: 8 seconds.

Boy: Uhh (Prays) Agh!!!

Maker: 5 seconds.

Boy: Oh my god! (Prays)

Maker: 2 seconds.

Boy: AH! (Prays)

Maker: D-

???: (Blows up tomb) I'm back motherfuckers

Maker: Impossible!

CEO: It's Jesus!

CEO: Surrender your power to us!

Jesus: No can do, it's only reserved for the lord, and... (Karate kick)

Maker: OH GOD IT HURTS LIKE HELL

Jesus: Now destroy that device

CEO & Maker: Never!

Jesus: (Karate kicks both of them out the office)

Boy: Well, now that that is over, I'm going to introduce you to my parents after I finish watching the live wrestling!

(Later)

Boy: Hey mom! I found someone you would like to meet!

Mom: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU PIECE OF S- Oh it's Jesus! You are welcomed anytime to my home!

Jesus: I greatly appreciate your kindness.

Father: Jesus? Why, I had a conversation with you in church last Sunday! Something about some obscure forum named Buildism, right?

Jesus: I don't remember having any conversations about a forum last Sunday.

Boy: Sorry, Jesus. My dad was heavily drunk that day, he started seeing things and got all spiritual. It's weird.

Jesus: Mhm.. Well I really have to go now.

Boy: Awww

Jesus: Yeah. I have to do some heaven stuff right now. God's been spending time with Satan recently which leaves me in charge of heaven.

Boy: OK, bye!

Jesus: Bye. (Halleluiah, Halleluiah, alleluia, alleluia, alleluia)

Boy: Boy, that was some great adventure.

[lol]

Red Dawkings

Another day in the prairie is just as exhausting as losing your penis to mother fucker nature. My adventure is just a day equal to an American Airlines flight. Sometimes-

Novelist: Nah, this introduction is too boring for young readers aged 13-18. Making a point in my novels have been increasingly hard ever since my 50th book, and yet not even a single mention of me exists on the Internet. Life sucks, don't you think?

RRRRED DAWKINGS

Guy: I'm thirsty

TV: HEY FAGGOT

Guy: Huh?

TV: GET SOME FANTA TODAY FUCKER, NOW IN LEMON-LIME-GREEN-RASPUTIN FLAVOR WOAH BITCH ASS DRINK

Guy: Hey, that sure is a convincing advertisement, I'm going to get some Fanta today!

Later

Guy: Huh? Fanta is not available in my area? Fuck this city, I'm going to New York and there better be Fanta there.

Later

Guy: Ah, New York! A great place to find some Fantas!

Gang: Blargle we're black people and we want your money blargle eiefurheueawhfiueafdhiehfes

Guy: Holy shit it's a black guy gang

Later

Guy: Holy shit they took my money

Guy: Wait a minute, I still have some left in my ass pocket

Guy: Hey look, a supermarket! Ooo! Strippers! Which one should I go to?

Guy: My mouth wants supermarket, but my penis wants strippers... This is the hardest decision of my life... Meh, 2 minutes of strippers won't hurt.

Later

Guy: That was so awesome. Now I'll need some money- Holy shit I spent all my money on strippers

The next morning he was found dead on Broadway Street. The next time you consider strippers, have a Fanta instead.

[lol]

Epic News

-I just vomited soda and chicken and I'm eating it back. I just saved 5 dollars in food and drink.

-JaredValdez is a poor ass Nicaraguan nigger who spends most of his dad's drug dealer money on lifetime obc for his 30 alts.

-Borat is a dirty jew

-I vomited again so I could use my half-digested food for today's meal

[lol]

Hey FaggoTs

Sign up for FT by sending me (By PM) your user information and anything else that is identifiable and you will get back:

-A piece of shit

-Exclusive FT posts uncensored and unedited

-A foreign penis enlarger

-Barely legal porn

[lol]

Q&A

Q: When Was The First Spam Created?


A: When a caveman that wasn't very creative drew the same animal about 400 times

[lol]

Stupid section where I talk about my life

Today I learned that "ir a pie" means "eat a pie" in spanish. My school also uses google translator for our high quality spanish classes. I saw someone's penis in gym class and I had a boner.

[lol]

Me in real life.

Just kidding, I'm much more muscular than this guy.

[lol]

My Glorious and Awesome Life

I impregnated a potato and discovered that I discovered while discovering that I discovered a new type of STD, which limits my life to 4 minutes which means that I will have to rename this section to "My Glorious and Awesome After-life." Do you think they have Internet access in hell? Well, anyways, I was walking down the streets raping even more potatoes that eventually I would have a genus of potato species named after me after they successfully release my offspring. You're going to be reminded by me every time you eat your McDonald's Happy Meal french fries!

Viyota Game

Today I played the game of life. It was so crappy that at least one million people quit this game every day. I'd rather be raped by a 1000 creepers while reading a Wiki physics article than play that.

General poop

I fucked a cow. Wait, that was your mother? Oh, I'm so sorry! I also sent her off to a meat processing plant. Will a free sirloin steak cover all the emotional damage I have done to you?

Music

I like mainstream pop. Fuck off hippies.